Troop Float 2006
Oh say can you see… that the Troop Float is here?
To all float soldiers let this email serve as notice you have been activated for the 4th of July Independence Day Troop Float. Please report to Landa Falls with your gear at 1:00 PM Sunday July 2nd. Be on notice that you will be required to wear your red white and blue and or your camouflage uniforms. Tube decorating is optional but highly recommended your active participation is being graded. If you do not report for duty by 1:00 PM you will be court-martialed and a naked picture of Ted Kennedy will be tattooed on your neck.
All the old rules apply like no whining and no glass or Styrofoam, but a few new ones have been created because of Ken “Craw-Fish” Valentine, don’t bring the little plastic cups for Jello shots (use the paper Dixie cups) and leave you beer bong and river jam box at home.
This is going to be a very crowded weekend with Guadalupe floaters being shuttled to the Comal. It would be a very good idea to get your tubes a few hours before float off. That is not a request but an order! We will have shirts available to purchase, we have a few left of the original NBF grays and several of our new More Beer More River shirts. Remember you are never truly a part of the float unless you are sporting Float Like Locals gear.
Make sure you read Major Dr. Karin Hawkins letter posted below this one. She has been in the big litter box over there for just over a month and has a great attitude and pride in what she is doing over there. Captain James “Squivel” Esquivel just got back last month after a year and a half in Afshitistan. He will be here with us for the first time in a long time so rub his head and tell him you are glad to have him back. Captain Dan also just returned from the litter box, but will be unavailable for floating, he will be here the weekend of the 7th so make plans to go to the piano bar and toss back a few with him before he goes back on the 12th. Kelly has a new toy soldier and is getting as much play as she can from him before he has to go over in August. Everyone say hello to Martin “7” Franz (no relation to any Franz you may or may not know.)
As Devon would say, the float is at one and one is the time of the float, if you are wondering when the float is, think of one and wONEder no more.
Yours in the bond of the tube,
The Float Master.