Anti-River Nazi Float
“Ding Dong the witch is dead.”
That is the song that keeps ringing in my head after this last election, so this float season I would like to dedicate this float season to our nemesis and FORMER city council member Mr. Ken “I hate floaters” Valentine. This silly little Yankee transplant made it his goal in life to keep you off of HIS RIVER. He and his River Nazis on city council have banned Jell-O, beer bongs, big tubes, big coolers, radios, loud talking, singing and fun on OUR RIVERS so the citizens of district 6 decided they would ban Ken. Saturday May 12th the hammer of justice finally came down on the fun sucker and he was kicked out of office before his term had expired. This has never occurred in the history of New Braunfels, and it has personally restored my faith in the people of district 6. We will all toast the political action committee “Keep NBNB” for all of their hard work in ousting the Scotch guzzling ban monkey.
New Rules: I have spoken with the PD. And the Mayor, the PD thinks they are going to be forced to ticket for the coolers, and the Mayor said they are going to be asked to use their discretion. I don’t know who to believe. If you are a spineless coward and want to cow-tow to the Nazi’s then you will have to get a 16 oz cooler, if you are a true member of the NB float team you will stand up to injustice use your regular cooler and fight the man if they give you a ticket.
Sounds like there are going to be a lot of new people this year, so sponsors please go over the rules with your “guests” remember 1:00PM Saturday, May 26th at Landa Falls. If you have to rent tubes get there earlier.
“man I shouldn’t have chugged that whole bottle of Johnny Walker before the meeting, I think I’m gonna Puuuuuu……
I’ve called this press confrence to announce, yes I am a “Cotton Headed Ninnymuggins”
Air Warrior - Trained to kill Cotton Headed Ninnymuggins.
Yes I am Mrs. Valentine and I swear he said it was ok to steal this sign while taking my car for a walk.
