HE DOES DECREE
And on the last day the Float god rested and said to all the creatures under him, “Thall shalt floateth on the Sabbath of September on the third day in the year of our lord 2006 at one hour past the suns zenith. The place of gathering shall be the liquid falls of the man called Landa.
All of the float nation below heard the voice of the lord and rejoiced at his word. There was much dancing, feasting and singing to the greatness of the Float God that he should give us this day our daily float.
The Float god did also degree that the Fleeple must remember the unholy human law that does not allow members of the float nation to purchase the fermented beverages of Malts and Hops before the suns zenith, and to do so would cause great consternation.
Beware the Valentine for it takes a human form and resides in a place of influence with the unholy ones. The Valentine casts out the fermented gelatin, he casts out the dispensers of mass quantities and he casts out the music unto which we revel. He causes lamentations of our people and shall forever be spoken of only in shameful whispers.
All praise the Float God, Master of us all, and the one that causes joy upon our unworthy souls.