New news and the Memorial Day Float.
Welcome back float team. It has been a long cold winter and it is time to grease up and slither about the river like snakes. A lot has happend since our last floatilla.
We have had some new addtitions to our ever growing float molecule albeit they won’t be able to float with us for a while never the less let us welcome from oldest to youngest. “Commander” Riker Purdy, Avery “big cheeks” Esquivel, “Yellin” Helen Williams, Grayton “on my nerves” Hale, “Jake the Snake” Casteel, Cannon “Ball” Kyle, and in September Madeline “Pinchie” Snow. Contratulations to the moms and dads, but mostly the Dads since the moms will be have to stay home with the floddlers (same as toddlers but in floating way).
In international news, our very own Lt. 1st class James Esquivel was shipped out to Afganistan this week 4-18-05. He is there defending your right to float so when you are drinking some Woodford Reserve make sure you toast to him.
On the literary front, Rich Hale is working on his book floating for dumbies, but he only works on it late at night and after a fashizzel of beers so don’t look for it on your bookshelves anytime soon.
We also have some news on the love circuit. Girl Kelly is no longer hitched to Boy Kelly and P. Lee is no longer hitched to hot Stacy, but Chris and Common Law are making it official. Everyone say it with me…..FINALLY!. Be on the look-out for Partricks “toob” to be bumbing into GK’s tube 
“The James Esquivel Memorial Day Float”
The official “unofficial” Memorial Day float will be the weekend after Memorial Day, June 4th 2005 at 1:00 PM. as usual, failure to be at Landa Falls on time will result in you being ridiculed and spit on. No Taylor we can’t meet you and your Scooter Team earlier than that, you must choose with whom to float.
Richie and I will be posting a set of addendums to the rules this year, but until then all the old rules apply. Here are a few of the basic rules for the newbies:
1. NEVER QUESTION THE FLOAT MASTER or any of his cabinet.
2. Be ready to FLOAT at the designated time. Remember you still have to get your tube and applicable wrist bands.
3. make sure you bring your own cooler or have made arrangements to put your beer in someone elses.
4. Don’t bring clothes to put in the coolers, walk down to the river in your white skinned glory.
5. ABSOLUTELY NO WHINNING.
So there you have it. If you can follow these simple rules, your standing in the floating hiearchy will rise quickly. (An official listing of the ranks will be made after the 1st float so make sure you make it. All ranks have been disolved except for the Float Master - Stoney Williams, Vice Float Master - Rich Hale, and Vice Float Master - Chris Benson.)
